Day Ninety Two...

Back to work today. Thank god it is only for three days. Well it turns out that they have declined my application to work part time due to staffing levels. Well I have a few things to say about that (language warning):
1. Staffing levels are not my fucking issue. You are the fucking morons who have decided that a recruitment freeze will magically iomprove our performance and returns on ionvestment. That is a practice that has worked so fucking well int his business before....ohh wait it was one of the main reasons why your (I say 'your' because 'I' was involved in another part of the business at the time) performace two years ago was the worst if the fucking state. You are a bunch of fucking morons.
2. This thinly veiled contempt you have for staff is what is driving us all to go somewhere else. I have loved this company and intended to stay here for a very long time, but I am now at the point where I am looking for work elsewhere. The sad thing is, it has only become this bad in the last few months when our boss went on maternity leave and we got an acting team leader with no people skills who treats everyone like shit.
3. I manage to get all my work done and a fair chunk of everyone elses each and every goddamn day of the fucking. Last week I got 5 days work, plus other peoples work done in three days. I am currently on track to do even more this week. How can you justify that workload is a reason why I can't work part time and take one day off a week? It seems to me that it is becuase other people can't get their work done. Again, THIS IS NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM!
4. You said I can resubmit the application in late May/early June. The only paperwork you will get from me after this is my goddamn resignation which will tell you exactly where you can shove your job and go fuck yourselves. The last thing you will see of me is when I walk out and give you the finger as I cross the road. The only reason I am here is so that I can tke my time finding a new job in the right place.

On a positive note, I have completed my course today. I can now use that to get a new job in the industry, big thanks to my employer for investing in me :)

Day Ninety one...

Sat around at home and watched TV. Cleaned up the house a bit and did some washing. Not looking forward to driving to Sydney again on Friday. Sorry that my last few days have been short. I have been flat out and haven't had time to write much. I will try and improve on it tomorrow.

Day Ninety...

Not much to say today. Coming down from yesterday. Drove home. That is all. Bed now

Day Eighty Nine...

SOUNDWAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lamb of God was everything I hoped it would be, Coal Chamber were brilliant, Slipknot were awesome, BLS was fantastic. The whole day was so insanely awesomesauce. I can't wait for the next one.

Now my feet are sore, I am sunburnt and I really need to get some sleep.

Day Eighty Eight...

Little Brother is getting married today. So excited. He has found a Woman that s perfect for him and I hope that everything goes perfectly for them today. I have written my speech and it is awesome.

The wedding and reception were awesome. The bride was beautiful and the groom was suitably nervous. I have put some pics in below.

Day Eighty Seven

So, this is the last day of work before the wedding and Soundwave. Everything is packed, I have written my speech and just waiting to finish work. I can't wait, such a busy weekend ahead but it will be so much fun.

Onto the world of politics. I really wish these dumb fucks in power would cut this shit out and just fuck off. You are making look like some two bit piece of shit country who can't sort their crap out. It is time to get rid of the factional caucus crap. Each party should put up 2-3 candidates to be the party leader. When we vote we have a second bit of paper to vote for who will lead each party. That person is in charge until the next election. That way the people actually have a say in what goes on.

I have a question, why do people buy crap cars? For example, what good reason is there to own a Ssangyong. They may be cheap but so are Hyundais and they look a million times better. If we don't buy the really shit cars they will just go away. The same applies to all products. Why do you buy crap quality food? is it worth saving 40 cents? why do you buy many foods at all, apart from raw ingredients? It is really easy to make a lot of stuff yourself. Bake your own bread, it is yum, good for you and easy. Next week I am geting a meat grinder, then I can make sausages and mince. There will be no more reason to buy them. Will it be more expensive then getting sausages from Coles...probably a few cents more per kilo. Will they taste better, be healthier and be more enjoyable since I made them...for sure. BTW, meat grinders will be $15 at Aldi next week, get in on the action.

I have no idea how that went from a rant about shit cars to a rant about making my own sausages. I am a bit exited to be making my own nad I will be posting the results up here. That reminds me I need to track down some skins...

Day Eighty Six...

I am back in action. Working hard and......well not much really. Trying to get all my work done for Monday/Tuesday next week since I am away for Soundwave. Can't fucking wait, I look forward tothis all year.

Made more tomato sauce last night and it worked much better than last time. This time I blended it in the food processor and then strained it through the pasta strainer and it is heaps thicker. Woamn has promised to get me a meat grinder next week, Aldi have them for $15, then I can start making sausages and stuff. I need to be rich and live on a farm so I can do this stuff all the time.

Day Eighty Five...

Still sick and now my whole body hurts from vomiting and lying in bed all day. I am feeling a little better and I have eaten which is a bonus. I have finished Stargate Universe and caught up on all my other shows, plus found a new one called Luck that look alright.

Need to write a speech for the wedding on Friday and it is not going well. So not well in fact that i haven't even started :)

DAy Eighty Four...

Sooo sick, can't stop vomiting. I thought I would be goof for work, but after 15 mins adn 2 trips to the toilet I decided that I couldn't do it.

On the upside it means that I can finally see the end of Startgate Universe which has taken me forever.

Day Eighty Three...

Less than a week until Soundwave and Christioans birthday. So excited. This week is going to drag on for sooooo long. On the upside I have two 4 day weekends in a row. Woohoo for good planning. The following week is Womans birthday adn then we are going to some art shite after we get back from Sydney. To be honest, I am looking forward to the art stuff, but it is not normally my thing.

My 30th birthday plans are pretty simple by comparison. I intend to go to the pub with friends and family, have lunch and do some drinking. Seems like the ideal way to usher in the Dirty Thirties to me.

Day Eighty Two...

More people to help today with the working bee, had a committee meeting as well. That wasn't too bad, at least we know we are on the right track now. I think I will put up a list in the shed of what we need to get done and we can do little bits every few weeks.

Didn't do much else. Played with the kids and mowed as much of the lawn as I could.

Day Eighty One...

Archery club working bee today, as usual there were two of us there. We still managed to get a bit done and hopefully there will be more attendees tomorrow.

Off to have dinner at Walsh's now to celebrate a 50th. So glad it won't be a late one as we need to collect the kids, I am buggered.

Day Eighty...

I have been doing this for eighty days now, and apparently there are over 100 of you out there reading it. I wasn't aware my life was so interesting but I am glad you are here for the ride.

I am sitting at my desk and it is pelting down with rain, but the sky is blue. Gee I love summer in the nations capital -_- Now the rain is gone and the sun has come out. FFS pick some weather and stick with it for the day.

Only a week left until we head up for Soundwave and Buttheads wedding. Getting so excited. I love Soundwave. I might need to try and get some metal shows in while we are in Germany. The band I am looking forward to the most is Lamb of God.

SO, rumours abound of Android 5.0 in Q3 2012 and that it will be on tablets as a dual boot with Windows 8. All I can say is FUCK YEAH. Apple can suck a fat cock. A dual boot Andriod/Windows device will be awesome and will be so much more functional than the iPad. The iPad will look like a kids toy in comparison, but then again most Aplle users have the technical ability of 4 year olds so they are still going for their target market.

Day Seventy Nine...

Not much on again today. A few things of my own and then I will likely get roped into someones else crap again.

My new big push is for sustainable fishing. I implore you to only eat fish that can be caught sustainably. I many parts of the word entire fish populations have been depleted because of overfishing. Australia has started to take action and has large marine reserves as well as protecting our marine borders from illegal fishing. To make it even easier you can get an iPhone app by searching the app store for Sustainable Seafood Guide.

Please try to only eat the follwoing types of fish:
Abalone (Farmed Only)
Australian Bonito
Australian Herring
Australian Salmon
Blue Mussel
Blue Swimmer Crab
Bream
King Goerge Whiting
Leatherjacket
Luderick/Blackfish
Mackeral
Dolphinfish/Mahi-mahi
Moonfish
Mudcrab
Mullet
Scallop
Squid/Cuttlefish/Octopus
Tailor
Trevally
Whiting
Fresh Water Trout

The biggest thing that we need to be concerned about is Canned Tuna. There have been massive declines in Tuna populations worldwide but all of our canned tuna is imported and Australia has no control over how they are caught. The validity of dolphin friendly claims are in doubt and Sharks and Sea Turtles are commonly harmed through Tuna fishing.

Many of the fish I have listed above can be used in place of any other fish is any recipe. My preferred way to eat any fish is with a little salt and pepper and some Thyme. Stick them in the oven to bake for about 10 mins and they are delicious.

Day Seventy Eight...

Flat out like a lizard drinking today. But it is not my work...

Woman and I have decided to go to Europe in April 2014. We are going to start in Germany and go to Berlin, Sttutgart, Prague, Brno, Vienna, Salsburg, Budapest, Lviv, Kiev, Moscow, St Petersburg, Helsinki, Stockholm and Copenhagen. The idea is that we will drive from Berlin to Budapest, then train through Ukraine and Russia to Finland and then boat to Sweden and drive to Denmark.

Now we have 2 years to do the research and firm up the plan, but I want to keep it pretty lax so we can take our time if we like.

Day Seventy Seven...

What a boring day, I have bugger all to do.

Still no idea on working part time, haven't heard anything back yet. Not really much to write about today.

Day Seventy Six...

I was going to go to the 4WD show on the weekend and completely forgot...oops. Never mind, there is always one on somewhere.

I have been overcome with this idea of travelling. The current options are either Portugal, Spain and Morroco or Hungary, Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia, Ukraine, Russia and Finland. I am thinking of going the end of next year for about 5 weeks. Woman wants to come, but the biggest challenge for me will be being away from the kids.

Day Seventy Five...

Only went to archery for about 30 mins today, I wasn't meant to be there at all. Came home and I feel pretty ratshit again. Time to rest adn see how I feel later.

What a day of cooking. I have cooked bread, Chorizo and pasta for lunches, Beer battered Fish for dinner and made my own tomato sauce. The sauce is yum but is not very thick, I may need to try and play with the recipe.

Day Seventy Four...

Still feel really sick, glad I didn't go to Sydney. Still need to go and do the shopping hope I feel better this afternoon.

Went to do the shopping, feeling much better now. So glad I took th time to rest. We have been buying so much fruit and veg lately, all part of trying to lose weight adn be healthier.

Just had dinner, I cooked Butternut Pumpkin stuffed with Leek, Gruyere and Creme Fraiche. It was so yummy, I wonder what else I can use Creme Fraiche with. I wonder if I stir it into my pasta sauces at the alst minute what will it taste like. Boy is cooking Vege Pasta on Wednesday so I might give it a go then.

Day Seventy Three...

Feel so sick today. I am supposed to drive to Sydney tonight but it is not going to happen. There is no way I am in any fit shape to drive for 3 hours.

That is all today, too sick to care.

Day Seventy Two...

Wondering how dinner will go down tonight. Woman always complains when I cook lentils or chick peas or anything that sounds remotely vegetarian. I hope it will be a winner although the recipe is from an unproven source.

They are warning of floods for the Queanbeyan River valley this weekend, awesome....not.

So ICS is running really well on my phone. In fact it is running better than what CM7 was. I am glad I made the switch, now debating if I will make the switch on the tablet.

Oh my sweet baby goodness, Billy Connolly is going to be in the Hobbitt. This just makes me want to see the movie even more. I can't wait. *ssqqqqqqquuuuuueeeeeee* (Yes I did let out a little girly squel when I read the news)

Day Seventy One...

I get the distinct feeling that I am not very well liked by those above me at the moment. Of course they are above me in position only, as people and morally they don't even rank on the same scale. I am really jack of the favouritism and crap that goes on here. It is bullshit. SOme of us a re watched like hawks while others get away with murder.

Soo tired, I want to go to bed...unfortunately it's on 2pm.

I think it might be time to update my phone to Ice Cream Sandwich (the latest Android version). I wonder how much of my custom programming I will need to re do to make it work how I want again. Wish me luck...

IT looks liek ti has worked. I have a few little issues, but I have managed to sort them without to much issue. Only one that will require a bit of coding at some point this week. If anyone has a Samsung Galaxy S I highly recommend the upgrade to ICS, much faster and looks heaps better.

Day Seventy...

So today is the big day. Time to face the boss and tell him what I want. I am determined to come out of this with what I want as the way it has all gone down is bullshit. I have made a mental list of demands and what I want to say. i have every intention of going in and dictating what I want and it is up to them to accomodate it or I will start looking elsewhere.

Only 2 hours to go and I am surprisingly not nervous at all. I have accepted that one of two things will happen:

• I will go in, lay down the law, tell them what I want, we work out a compromise, everyone is happy.
• I will go in, lay down the law, tell them what I want, they refuse to work with me on a compromise or solution, I work part time until I go and work somewhere else.

Regardless of what happens, I win. hance the lack of nervousness. I know I am good at my job and I know they would struggle without me. My results and ability speak for themselves, they need to come to me.

So, it has happened. I told them what i thought, they threw a bunch of management speak back at me, I nodded and accepted that they would never admit I was right or my ideas were better. At this point it dawned on me that they are just more corporate tossers. I told them I wanted to work part-time, I don't think beleived me as my leader nearly crapped herself when I gave her my formal request 20 mins later. Now I just have to wait for the response and then decide what my next move will be.

As far as I am concerned, at this point in time with bugger all staff and heaps of work, they need me more than I need them. I have the skills and qualifications to go to another insurer, lets see if it plays out that way.

Day Sixy Nine...

Its day Sixty Nine...dinner for two :)

I have realised in the last day just how many things you require your thumbs for. Opening beer. Opening Wine. Tying shoelaces. Washing your face. Remove the park brake on the car. Use your phone. Drink tea. Everything requires the use of your thumb. Thankfully I still have one.

Arranged my suit for the wedding today. Unfortunately they won't have the one I wanted but they have my second choice. It a shame because I love 3/4 length jackets.

Don't want to be at work today, but at least the day went quick. See Ya

Day Sixty Eight...

Fuckin oooowwwww. Was making lunch and I cut a massive chunk out of my hand with the bread knife. Fuck it hurts and it bled for about 3 hours. It is all bandaged up now and I will have to change the dressing tomorrow night.

That has pretty much destroyed any plans for the rest of the day so not much else to talk about.

Day Sixty Seven...

Ahhh Saturday. Went and picked blackberries this morning, there were a fair few around but it looks like there are many more still to ripen. Toby came with me and we had a pretty good time but headed home once it got to hot.

Went to the markets adn got our fruit and veg but didn't do much else. Rob came over for dinner and we played munchkin for a couple of hours.

Day Sixty Six...

Bloody rain. Where the hell is summer?? I don't mind the rain, except I wanted to start digging garden beds tomorrow. I was also planning to sort out the weber and the spit and tryo to get the back patio all arranged how I want it. I also need to run the lawnmower over the backyard again and poison the driveway and path.

Might also do some baking this weekend. I can get the kids to help me to make some bikkies and cupcakes since they eat them all. I also want to try and dry apples and we are going up to the mountains tomorrow to collect blackberries to make some jam.

Day Sixty Five...

Back at work today. While getting ready for work I felt really anxious and started to feel sick again, but I pushed on and made it here. I don't have an issue with the people I work with and I know it is not my fault that it happened but I feel like a disappointment to everyone. I feel like everyone here is looking at me going 'Well he wasn't good enough' even though that isn't the case. I know it was a situation where the circumstances were really shit and things just went against what we were trying to do but it doesn't change how I feel.

I feel like I have let down Woman and the kids as well. We were so excited that I was finally going to get my chance to prove myself and then I had to face them and tell them it wasn't happening. They know why and they know it was nothing I did, but I still feel as though I somehow let them down.

It makes me wonder why I should look forward to anything or feel happy about anything. What is the point of getting excited if things are just going to get snatched away from you. I need to get outn of this stuopid spiral of depressing self pity. Fuck it, harden the fuck up. You are Adam. Your psyche is fucking bulletproof. This fucking place has no right to bring you down. You have lived through so much more than them, you have defeated depression, you have lived and done things they dream of. Harden up, aswallow your emotions and move the fuck on. Life has kicked you in the guts, again. So kick the fucker in the head, tell God to get fucked and push through like you always do. Time to fire up some 'Warrior' (these are not the full lyrics, just the bits that snap me out of this shit).

'Do not hide now
Act like a warrior
Show your pride now
Solidify your place in time'

'As I stand before you
With a warrior's heart
Now I can feel the strength that will
Ensure my victory this time'Fuck I love music. Some people just have it on as a background noise but I find that music speaks to me in a way that no one and nothing else can. Music is intensley personal if you let it. It can bring tears, it can bring joy, it can show love and it can arouse hate of the worst kind. I think over the next little while I will post up some of my favorite lyrics to demostrate what music means to me. I will also post up the song title and artist so people can go and have a listen for themselves and maybe I can convert some to seeing music as more than just noise.

Let's kick it off with Slipknot and a bit of 'Duality'

'I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it

All I've got, all I've got is insane
All I've got, all I've got is insane
All I've got, all I've got is insane
All I've got, all I've got is insane'
I love this song because there are few people who know me that will argue that there is not a little bit of insanity about me (apparently you can see it in my eyes). I constantly feel as though I am fighting with myself and trying to prevent the insane side from coming out because I don't want people to see it. I think it is the little piece that is left from when I suffered depression and, combined with what has now been diagnosed as mild autism, it is always there just below the surface guiding who I am and it actually hurts to hide it.. But when it boils down to it that little insane piece of me is the only thing I can rely on, it is the only thing that is real to me.

Day Sixty Four...

Not at work today. Just feel deflated. The thought of going to work makes me feel sick and I want to vomit. I really need to get over it but I feel like the rug as been ripped out from under me and I have just been left hanging.

Baked some cookies and put a lot of effort into cooking lunch which made me feel a bit better. It helps to do the things I enjoy. Playing with the kids made me feel heaps better, but I think Woman gets a bit annoyed when we spend an hour jumping on the bed. I still try and live life by the philosophy of 'Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional.'

Well I am out for another day, see ya.